6 Things That Bring Tears To Gluten-Free People’s Eyes
Gluten Is The Enemy, My Friends–Stay Strong!
There are many things that will make us cry, most of them don’t entail gluten. However, here’s a list of gluten-centric things that are bound to get the tear ducts flowing. There are gluten-free substitutes for many of the items on this list (well, not so much for the subjects of #2 and #6), but let’s be real, it’s not the same (although there have been great advances in many of these areas). So, grab your favorite gluten-free snack and a box of (gluten-free) tissues and enjoy the read, courtesy of Cassie Ryan and our friends at BuzzFeed.
1. Croutons
Any Celiac will tell you that Croutons are the DEVIL. They are EVERYWHERE and no matter how many times you tell your server that you can’t have them in the one salad you’re allowed to eat on the menu, you’re almost guaranteed to be given a crouton infested salad. Then you have the awkward task of sending it back and explaining that you can’t just “pick them out.” They are an infectious epidemic. Stay strong, Celiacs.
2. Menus
The excitement a celiac feels when we find out a restaurant has a gluten-free menu is immediately diminished when we see it’s just a shrunken down version of their regular menu. AND every side dish, sauce, or delicious food embellishment our meal comes with is not gluten-free and we end up staring at a piece of broiled chicken breast on a plate. Maybe some steamed broccoli on the side if we’re super lucky. YUM!
3. Buns
Hot dog and hamburger buns make any Celiac barbeque attendee super sad. How fluffy and delicious do those buns look? How cozy would that wiener be submerged in that doughy goodness? Not only are we taking our burgers and dogs in the nude, we also need to find a fork and knife to awkwardly eat them with. Now we look like pretentious, calorie-counting weirdos. Don’t hate us—we’re just jealous of your buns.
4. Pizza Parties
It’s not just a party guys, it’s a PIZZA party. And you’re the fool with the brown paper bag and a turkey sandwich that’s gonna stick out like a sore, gluten-free, thumb. Hey, at least you know all pizza parties come with soda, so you know, you have that to look forward to…
5. Other People’s Birthdays
Everybody loves birthdays. Birthdays come with cake. Cake baked with so much [wheat] flour it makes you want to cry. But chins up my gluten-free comrades, you’ll have your own birthday sooner or later (probably in the next year or so) and you can bake your best rendition of a gluten-free impostor cake. Happy Birthday!
6. STUPID QUESTIONS
There’s the classic, “What happens if your boyfriend eats bread and then you kiss him?” question. I probably drop dead, you fool. I had a friend once ask me if “burn” had gluten in it. If it’s burned gluten then yes, yes it does.
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Photos Courtesy: Buzz Feed
